PREDICTIONS 2008

A guid new year tae yin and a!

A very busy time over the festive season, and I hope all my avid readers had a special time. As Calum Cashley has correctly pointed out, I have not yet made my predictions for 2008. No doubt New Labour have issued the press release over another broken promise!

Anyway here goes....

JANUARY

The SNP celebrate Burns' nicht with a 20 point lead in opinion poll ratings due to Donorgate, Good Governance and more outrageous revelations exposed under the 30 year rule.

Strathclydes' finest visit Paisley and arrest Wendy Alexander. Under pressure to resign, New Labour issue a press release about the Scottish Governments broken promises. Gordon Brown is reported to have smiled at least once during the month, however this is dismissed by an official spokesperson as the PM having suffered from toothache.

Giuliani wins the Republican and Edwards wins the Democrat New Hampshire primaries.

FEBRUARY

In a sensational St.Valentines day, the SNP win 6 local Council by elections just days after Charlie Gordon resigns his seat. The press call this the ST.Valentines day massacre, as a reported 40% swing goes from New Labour to the SNP.

Wendy Alexander finally resigns the leadership of the British Labour Party (Scotland Region).

Nicol Stephen volunteers to step in until a successor is found, until it is pointed out that Lib Dem Leaders can only do so, in the event that New Labour are in government. Hell will freeze over when that happens again comments Tavish Scott.

MARCH

The SNP emerge victorious in the Cathcart by-election with a majority of 7000, and a record swing. New Labour's campaign of "TRUST NEW LABOUR TO DELIVER" is seen as a disaster, and a reason for their 4th place showing.

The Conservatives now paint themselves as the official opposition in waiting.

In an extraordinary twist, Darth Vader and an ageing Emperor Sidious pull out of the race to succeed Wendy Alexander, a close aide to the Dark ones claims that the evil within New Labour is too strong.

Four major Trade Unions, ahead of the next months STUC announce their support for Independence, as this is viewed as the only way to achieve Trade Union policy being put into practice.

APRIL

Amid much fanfare, on the 1st April the dream ticket of George Foulkes and Jim Devine is revealed as the new leadership team for the British Labour Party (Scotland Region).

The new team announce their first engagement as meeting Nicol Stephen and Annabel Goldie on how to make the union stronger.

All major Presidential Candidates meet the First Minister and his team in Washington for the Tartan Day celebrations, as they all want to be seen with a major International Leader.

The SNP lead 30 percentage points in the opinion polls with New Labour and the Conservatives tied on 15% each.

The STUC Annual Congress votes to support Independence as part of the National Conversation consultation.

MAY

The nation celebrates the first anniversary of the election of the SNP Government, as confidence in the Public and Private Sectors reach unparalleled levels. Whilst the Westminster Government forecast more economic doom, Scotland is flourishing. Alex Salmond offers a loan to Westminster to ease its troubles and in the spirit of International relations.

This offer of generosity is rejected.

JUNE

John Edwards edges out Hilary Clinton for the Democratic nomination. His Convention slogan "ITS TIME" is viewed as one of the major reasons for his success.

JULY

After ten recounts at the Republican Convention, a nomination for Jeb Bush from the floor, results in Governor Bush emerging victorious. The Republicans election strategy is how the Democrats sums don't add up, and that a Democratic White House will result in Armageddon (sound familiar?).

AUGUST

The Scottish Parliament reconvenes with whispers of defections and mergers. The SNP start the new session on 67% in the opinion polls with New Labour, Conservatives and Lib Dems on 10% each.

The Independence Referendum Bill is published.

In an unfortunate sense of timing Wendy Alexander and Charlie Gordon receive custodial sentences, just 2 days prior to the Paisley North By-Election.

SEPTEMBER

In contrast to last years euphoria, Gordon Brown resigns in disgrace prior to the British Labour Party Conference. The Conference ends with new anthem "Always look on the bright side of life".

In a hastily called Leadership Battle, George Foukles backs David Milliband. Jack Straw is elected leader.

The Conservatives allow their Scottish Branch federal status.

OCTOBER

An opinion poll published prior to the SNP Conference shows a huge lead for Independence much to the chagrin of Unionist commentators. The Conference is a positive and uplifting occasion, with no mention of the opposition. The first Conference with several Trade Unions in attendance in a voting capacity is dubbed a success. Its a pleasure to be among the most socially democratic political party for decades says one General Secretary.

In shocking news, a New Labour MSP makes a positive and constructive contribution in the Scottish Parliament. The media speculates whether this individual is about to defect to the SNP.

NOVEMBER

With their support in freefall, many New Labour MSP's discuss forming an electoral pact with their fellow unionists. George Foulkes and Jim Devine, having been devoid of an idea since they took office give this a ringing endorsement. Nicol Stephen states quite clearer that he will do what George tells him. Annabel Goldie gives the idea a cautious welcome, though Gerald Warner writes an article about how the Tories don't need them. The Scotland on Sunday leads with the headline "SNP support in freefall" as it emerges that the SNP has "only" 60% support.

The Edwards/Clinton ticket win New Mexico after 3 recounts to win the Presidential Election. Despite Republican attempts to take the result to court, Jeb Bush finally concedes 2 weeks later.

On St.Andrews Day, at a hastily convened Press Conference with George Foulkes, Annabel Goldie and Nicol Stephen, it is announced that they are to merge Political parties in order to "Save the Union". After a Special Conference, and in Internal Session, this New Party decides on a new name that will encompass all that they believe. After much fanfare they decide on.......

British Unionist Reform Party (Scotland Region).

DECEMBER

All remaining Trade Unions which were still part of New Labour, resign and join the SNP. After a complex electoral college, the leadership team for BURP (Scotland Region) of Annabel Goldie and Jim Devine is announced.

However, 10 former New Labour MSP's resign to form the New Labour Popular Party, 3 Conservative MSP's form the Peoples Scottish Conservative Party, and 4 Lib Dems announce a new party called Liberal Democratic Peoples Scottish Party.

After a lively debate in the Scottish Parliament, the Independence Referendum Bill passes with a wafer thin majority, thanks to the Greens, who announce that they have no plans to merge with anyone.

The referendum is to be brought forward 1 year early. The current poll shows 69% in favour for Independence.


Have a good new year everyone.